Lessons in Central Park, lessons in a Revel

photo by @lizzymadrigal taken in Central Park, New York City

I was sitting in Central Park this past Sunday and there was a moment where I wished that I was not alone. As a single woman in her mid thirties, a lot of my work has revolved around encouraging women to build a life that they are content and present with. And while I still wholeheartedly believe in the heart of my work, I also believe in the balance of finding purpose in solitude and in the value of experiencing life with people. In short, hyperindependence has never been the goal of what I communicate.

As I was sitting on the bench immersed in my thoughts, I felt the familiar pull of sadness. It felt a bit out of place, given that I was surrounded by the lovely sights of Cherry Hill Fountain and Bow Bridge. It’s funny really, I chose to sit here because I’m actually cowriting a short story (that I am OBSESSED with) that has a scene that takes place in the very spot where I am sitting. Yet it was the spark of inspiration that reminded me that as much as I was intrigued by what my brain was creating, I wished I had someone sitting beside me to share it with. And you know what, that’s okay. There’s enough room for both of those emotions to coexist. In the past, I would have shamed myself into a spiral for feeling negative during a trip. Instead, I have myself permission to acknowledge that the feeling existed in my body, and I let it be. And soon it was gone.

me on a bench in Central Park with my book baby

The next day on my way to the airport, I booked a ride through an app called Revel. I had never used it before but instagram shared an ad with me that gave me a first time user discount, so I thought why not. My driver got to my hotel, and he was so extroverted. I had hoped for a quiet ride to just process all the weekend, but that tends to be my usual go to when I solo travel. So I decided to engage with him. He told me his story; 4th generation Brooklynite, parent to three adult children, wanted to get into the music business as a teen and move to LA but his grandmother said otherwise. I learned that his father was absent during his formative years, yet he still managed to find his way into the music world with producing. We talked about the state of the world, current dating trends, and even about ICE…all within 35 minutes. When I got off at Newark, I expressed my appreciation for the conversation and he said the same. And just like that, we went our separate ways.

So why bring up these two experiences?

I think sometimes (as women) we put so much pressure on creating picture perfect vacations and memories that we leave no room for real life to happen. In that moment in Central Park, I felt odd for posting highlight reels online while wrestling sadness in real time. But I chose to sit with that emotion and gently direct my brain to what was also true about that moment: I was photographing my debut book in New York City. I remember telling myself Lizzy, sit with THAT for just a second…pay attention to how it feels. And soon that sadness turned into gratitude. And yes, sometimes it’s that easy to change our mindset.

With the Revel ride, I think that conversation with Keble was a reminder that it’s good to interact with the world around me. I don’t always need to be processing or in deep thought; the outer world is just as interesting as my inner world. For the longest time I’ve held onto this introverted identity but doing so can block me from inspiration and creativity. If you’re a creative, you have to find a way to work around your introversion. I know, *gasp*. But I said what I said. Inspiration happens when we choose to be an active participant in the world around us.

Anywho, that’s it for now. Believe it or not, I’m sort of still recovering from last week’s adventures and I’ve been easing back into my routine. I’ve got a few pieces lined up for next week, so stay tuned! I’ll be talking about the dread of turning 30, loneliness, and the hard truths about jealousy.

xoxo,

Lizzy

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